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"What do you mean you're breaking up with me?" I asked Drake. His blonde hair was just the right length; right above his eyes. The eyes that were grass green, they were color of envy. Envy was one of his worst traits, also wraith. He showed me that one two days ago. He was taller than me about 5'6" I on the other hand was short really short. I was 5 foot even. His long legs were being hugged by fitted jeans, and his shirt stretched under his chest. Truthfully I didn't find him all that attractive anymore. Sure he was cute actually really cute, but he didn't have the personality I liked.

"Yes I'm breaking up with you. I know we are going to both move up north and go to the same college but I want to see what else is out there. I want to see wait is in the whole fruit bowl before I pick." He stroked my cheek, "You understand."

I didn't want to get on his bad side so I nodded. He smiled and kissed me for what I hoped was the last time, and turned around and left. I stood on the front porch of my mother's house as I watched him leave. My mom came and draped her thin arm around my shoulders. She was also taller than me. She was thin with dark brown hair that was swept back into a ponytail, her yellow green eyes shined with relief. She didn't like Drake either of course she was the one who found me on the bottom stairs two nights ago. We lived in an old small, very small two story house. She worked hard to keep her father's house, and she was never going to part with it. I walked into the house with her where my sister; Veronica sat on the couch, her belly growing with the lives inside of her. Yeah I said lives she was having twins. She wasn't the best person but I loved her, and everyone hated her boyfriend but her.

I looked at the portrait above our fire place. It held my parents, my sister, and me. My dad's blue eyes happy and proud were sparkling in that picture. He held his head high when he walked next to me in the store even though I was the gothic one, but I was the smart one. I stayed out of trouble, never had sex, never snuck out to meet guys, made all good grades, and I never disobeyed him. It wasn't enough, it never was enough love. I never thought I gave him enough love. I sighed and walked up to my room. I only had a few more things to pack, and I was leaving tomorrow. I was hopefully never coming back. I pulled off my shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. My ribs were still black yellow and purple. They would stay like that for the next few days.

I dressed in what I was going to where tomorrow because I had to leave early. I packed the rest of my stuff in the little box taped it and went to the small trailer and stuffed it inside. My cousin worked for a moving company and was getting a head start. I hugged him and he drove away. I walked inside. It was eight o'clock at night and Juliana was rubbing at her belly at the kitchen table drinking some water. She smiled at me and I tried to smile back. I just haven't smiled in a long time. It's hard for me.
I grabbed some items from the fridge and put them in a mini-ice chest. I was going to need it. It was a 21 hour trip to South Dakota, and that's if the traffic isn't bad. I put the little things I left behind to put in my car. I walked back into the house, the home I was about to give up to try and live a normal life. I smelt and heard food being cooked. Italian seasonings were in the air the sound of ground beef cooking on the stove made my stomach growl. Mom was cooking lasagna, my mouth started watering up. I walked in the kitchen and she was taking the meat off the stove and was starting to layer the pasta, meat, homemade sauce, four different types of cheeses, and then it started over. She put it in the oven and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm going to miss you, Mom," I whispered and she patted my back.

"I don't think you are ready. I'm going to miss you too. I'm making your favorite for your last meal here." I tried to smile but it wasn't working. I sighed; I was going to have to work on smiling.

"You act like I'm never coming home." She laughed, as if to say 'oh I know your coming home.'

We sat around our table for four, but only three seats were filled. I nibbles on the garlic bread, and took small bites of the pasta. We made small talk, and talked about the coming twins. The doctor told her she thinks it's a boy and a girl. So she was thinking of Sunny for the boy and Stormy for the girl. I wanted to laugh I mean it was cute names…. For a dog, but not twins. I clean my table kisses both of them grabbed my keys, purse, and left the house. I got in the car and I swear I saw my dad standing on the porch waving to me. I blinked and it was gone. I took in a shaky breath and realized I hadn't taken my medicine. I dug through my bag dry swallowed the pills, and started the car, turned on my G.P.S. I was leaving I filled up my car that morning. I had already opened my first red bull.

I drove and drove. I listened to music, watching the lines on the road pass by. I've already been to South Dakota twice, to find a place to stay, and I got a job. I couldn't wait to get there. About four hours later my cell rang and I picked it up.

"Hello?" Drake's voice was obvious.

"How are you doing? Are you on the road yet?" I rolled my eyes.

"Good and yes I am. So I can't talk I'm driving, and I don't want to talk you broke up with me." I said and he mumbled an okay and hung up. I sighed and kept driving; I pulled into a gas station and filled up my now empty gas tank. I walked into the store and the teen at the register looked at me greedily. I grabbed another red bull, some sugary treats. I wanted to make it at least a couple of more hours before I had to stop and pull into a hotel.

I went to check out, and the teen looked me up and down. I pulled out my money.

"Where you headed? That will be $6.22." he said and I paid him.

"South Dakota," I said and his mouth opened and I grabbed my stuff, and left.
I paid for the gas with a gas card my mother had gotten me. I got in and drove off. I think total I got in ten hours of driving. I pulled into a motel, got a room, and once I hit the bed I couldn't sleep. I stood up checked the windows, and the door. Walked to the restroom took care of my business and checked the locks again. I turned on the T.V. and turned up the volume. I turned on some cartoons, and tried to fall asleep. It didn't work I got up and for a third time checked the locks. I grabbed my pillow and blanket walked into the bathroom shut and locked the door. I ended up falling asleep in the bath tub. I woke the next morning, with a groan. It was five in the morning. I got out of the tub, left the blankets, and grabbed my stuff and walked from the room. I checked out.

It's nothing like sleeping in the bathtub to give you a back ache in the morning. I grabbed a water bottle from my little ice chest and took some pain relievers and my medicine. I got into the driver's seat and started the car. I was ready to drive the eleven or twelve hours I have left to get to South Dakota. I took off turning up the radio, and turning on my C.D. It was on my favorite song; "Faces like mine" by Emilie Autumn

You say you're curious
Can't leave a thing to your imagination
I wish you'd close your eyes
But oh you seem so serious
I should enjoy the sweet interrogation
You start to hypnotize me
I should know by telling you
I'm flattered by your interest
Who am I talking to?
Could be the demon with a mask
Why should I trust in you?
I don't feel safe
I never did
But what else can I do
But what you ask?
Chorus:
Think of your darkest night
Think of your soul alone
If you can bear the sight
Think of the love you'll never know
Yes, it's unusual
To live your life this way
All I can say
Maybe that's why you don't see
Faces like mine every day
You'd like to stir it up
Just like a sight forgotten 'til remembered
I didn't ask for this
But still you hold me in your gaze
And from my lips
The moments I have captured
Still I'm in reminiscence
From a place you'll never know
I find the strength to tell you things I hardly ever show
My mirror holds your severed tongue
But in your amber eyes
I see the the questions never end
I never could disguise
So why pretend?
Chorus
Think of your darkest night
Think of your soul alone
If you can bear the sight
Think of the love you'll never know
Yes, it's unusual
To live your life this way
All I can say
Maybe that's why you don't see
Faces like mine every day

Who will forgive me?
No one knows I've done wrong
Won't you believe me?
'Cause I won't last that long
No, I
I wanna be quiet now
All alone
Back to my shadow
I'm gonna hide behind
The trouble in my mind
You say you'll stay around
You've finally found the answer to my story
Congratulations, love
So go ahead, decipher me and
Solve the puzzle if you need the glory
I wish I could be of your kind
I'd to be the one
To tell you how much you don't know
It isn't what I've done
But rather what I hold inside
Even if I give up
I won't be victim to your game
You're only free when you have nothing left
Chorus
Think of your darkest night
Think of your soul alone
If you can bear the sight
Think of the love you'll never know
Yes, it's unusual
To live your life this way
All I can say
Maybe that's why you don't see
Faces like mine every day
Every day…

It reminded me of myself. I stay quiet even though I'm asked questions. I don't like to tell my story. It's no one else's business but mine. I rubbed at my arm instinctively. Watching the road it stretched on and on. The trees passed, and when I got lucky I would stop some birds flying by. I loved being by myself, being secluded from everyone else. I was in my own little world. I didn't need anyone else. I didn't need anyone who thought I was abnormal or strange. I needed no one else's opinion but mine. My father told me as long as I am happy with myself then it doesn't matter if other people are happy with you.

I had to stop for gas again, and I didn't talk to anyone. I pulled back my hair into a black glass rose clip my father gave me before he died. The top of my tank top was showing the top of my tattoo on my back. (do not steal I really do want this tat ^_^ thanks) It was one angel wing full in design going from the top of my shoulder blades all the way down to the very top of my butt, then a devil wing doing the same on the lefts side. Then under the devil wing was stated in fine script, "For we are sinners." And under the angel win, "With him we are saved."

I paid for the gas and left noticing that the sun was lowering again. Come on I want to make it there before dark. About two hours later I was pulling up into the apartment complex. My cousin was unloading the last box and I walked behind him. It was going to be just my room no roommate. I don't trust people. I thanked him and he left and I turned to the boxes. I wasn't going to unload all of it right now. I unpacked essentials I made the bed and took a much wanted shower. I sighed as the hot water hammered down on my shoulders and tilted back my head to wet my hair. I washed my hair and lathered up my body. I decided to shave sense I was going to have to wear shorts, and I hate shorts. I stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around me. I walked into my empty room pulling on my lacy black and white underwear, and pulled on my black baby doll that matched. Yeah I know I dressed sexy for going to sleep by myself but I couldn't help it I couldn't stand wearing ugly underwear.

Walking through the bathroom I dried the tub and sink. I placed my tooth brush in a perfectly straight line along with my brush. I dried the shampoo bottle and conditioner along with my bath wash. I put the towel in my little dirty clothes hamper turned off the light and shut the bathroom door. I went to the apartment door locked the knob, then the bolt and pulled the chain through. I checked all three, looked through the peep hole, no one was outside. Locked the windows, closed the curtains, and turned out the lights. I had to check the window in the bed room, shutting the empty closet and the shutting my door locking that also. I turned out that light and lay down in bed. I wrapped myself in my blankets, and closed my eyes.

Sleep was nice; I loved it when I actually got to fall asleep. It was so warm, and nice, but of course though my mental alarm went off waking me up at five o'clock sharp. I sat up in bed. So I started my daily routine. Brushed teeth, brushed hair, put on some eye liner to accent the small mole right above the outside of my left eye brow, a touch of mascara, put on my ring, pinned my hair back with my black rose clip, and back to the bed room to get dressed. I pulled on some black rose lace stockings, dark jean shorts, a black muscle shirt, pulled on my back ribbon arm band up to cover my tattoo on my arm. I didn't like people seeing it. It was a shame. I pulled on some back combat boot grabbed my keys, my bag, and my book and walked from the apartment. I decided to go to a little coffee shop that I went to the first time I came here.

I walked into the little café, with my book and keys in hand. I had a few bucks in my pocket, and was minding my own business. When I walked a little further I heard the sound of angry hushed whispers. I looked over to the booth in the corner, and there was a pretty blonde arguing intensely with the guy in front of her. She had long blond hair very defined angles to her face, and green blue eyes. Her eyes were almond shape as compared to me; mine were a little rounder a little poutier looking. I took the booth next to theirs hoping to get hear a little of their conversation. Apparently I was too late because she got up, hugged him and walked away mutter about dumb ass men. I looked up and she was crying. She wasn't sobbing but I saw tears. I looked up and was met eye to eye with her now ex-boyfriend I assumed. His eyes were Caramel brown. He was wearing glasses and his lips were pursed and if he was trying to process something shocking. He pushed up his glasses shook his head and opened his laptop then hastily tapped away at his keys like he was on a mission.

I rolled my eyes, and opened my book. I like reading getting lost in the story not having to worry about the outside world. I relaxed and read for about twenty minutes. It happened so fast. I heard 'oh shit' I felt someone brush me and fall and water go into my lap and all over my book. I heard someone get out of a booth. When I looked up computer heartbreaker guy holding out napkins for me, and the younger boy with his mom who had fallen. I pushed away the hand offering the napkins and helped up the little boy up. Then I took the napkins.

"Thank you," I said lightly.

"Your welcome Heather," My head shot up. He knew my name…. He knew who I was… He slid into the seat across from me. He looked down at his hand like he didn't actually mean that. I continued to dry off, we didn't exchange words just looked at each other. He looked oddly familiar. I could put my finger on it but I knew him. I just didn't know where from. I heard his foot start to tap. He was getting anxious.

"I know you. Heather, you're in my computer class. I know you more than that though. You've told me. Do you remember?" He asked so nervously it was kind of cute. He was dressed in usual summer boys wear. I shook my head, and he sighed so heartbroken. It was like I had crushed all of his dreams….  I looked at him and he was staring back.

"Are you sure?" he asked and I truly felt bad that I couldn't remember. I shook my head and his face looked hurt now. I stuttered over words, and he shook his head. He scratched his head as if to wipe off his embarrassment. I didn't know what to say or do and I felt the blush rush to my face.

"Gosh I love it when you blush… Forget it. I knew you wouldn't remember." He said and stood. I felt my heart tug telling me not to let him go. I grabbed his arm. He was so tall; much taller than my five foot. He had to be at least six foot two. He turned back to me and looked at me.

"Tell me your name?" I asked and I slightly lowered voice. I saw the smirk tug at his lips. He placed his hands on the table and looked at me.

"The name is Dirk. Come on you really don't remember me." I felt something the way his attitude snapped in, and the name sparked interesting thoughts. Bright room whispers and giggles, and the smell of grass and soap lingered on skin but not on mine on someone elses. I smelt like soap, and cheap shampoo. That's all that came to mind.

"I'm getting something." I said and the excitement came to his face. He grabbed my hand.

"If you can trust me I want to help you remember." He said like a little kid in a toy shop, "I know you. Your dad is past, your mother over worked, sister is probably pregnant now, and you live in this little house in the south somewhere. Please if you trust me you don't know how long I've waited to see you again." That voice. Maybe it wasn't so grown up the first time I heard it, but the way the words slipped off the tongue. I knew him. Maybe, before the accident. I nodded and he smiled huge. His smile was as big as the Cheshire cat grin. That was familiar too. I wish I could remember, and even if he was some creep I don't care, I've already been to hell and back. He led me outside, and I walked to my car to grab my bag. He smiled and waited calmly. He was so relaxed. He was leaning more on one foot, watching me. He was lusting for me nothing like that. He was just watching, like he was studying me.
"Heather?" Drake's voice came from behind. I froze and Dirk stayed where he was simply observing.

"Baby I'm sorry. Baby, please I didn't mean it I miss you," he ran his hands up my arms, "Gosh I want you so bad. I didn't mean to hurt you," he begged. He wanted me back and I wasn't giving to him. I shook my head. I felt his hands tighten but I stayed relaxed.

"I don't want you back Drake. Not now not ever again."

"Why the hell not?!" He asked keeping one hand on my arm and the other went to his side.

"I don't love you!" I spit back and his hand hit me so fast and hard I only felt my face go to the side with the force. I felt his be jerked back.

"Who the hell are you?" Drake scoffed.

"Her boyfriend and I don't appreciate you hitting her," he continued to push him back. Drake left, and Dirk came to me. My head was still turned to the side. He slowly turned my head to make me look at him. He wiped the corner of my mouth where there was the littlest bit of blood. I knew my face was red, I could feel it. He light stroked it and I felt better.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine," I said and turned to my car.

I locked my car checked the handle, and he led me to a bike. Not just a bike Honda Ninja, she was black and red. I stared for a moment, and he laughed. He handed me a matching helmet, and patted behind him. I climbed on securing my bag in front of me. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his torso. He started her, and pulled out of the parking lot. The faster he went, the tighter I held and I think he figured that out, as he swerved out of town.

It was exhilarating; he pulled into sort of the middle of nowhere. There was a private pond in the back. He pulled up to the house and killed the bike, and let me off catching me when I slightly tumbled.

"You haven't changed I see," he whispered and I smiled. He led me into his house, and everything was so big and gorgeous. He must be freaking rolling in it. He pointed to the refrigerator offering me a drink. I shook and I continued to look around. I noticed a picture and walked up to it. There was a man, a small Dirk, and two women. I took a closer look and froze.

"I know her," I said and pointed to the woman in the picture. I could feel Dirk behind me.

"You should, she was important she's the whole reason we met." He whispered in my ear and before I could stop the shiver it already went through my body.

"That was my nurse at the hospital in Europe… and you're her nephew. Dirk…" I thought about it longer.

"She use to sneak us together because she liked your reaction to me. You liked me, you talked to me. You enjoyed my company. Then I would sneak to your room at night when no one knew." I started tearing up how could I forget, "You were thirteen I was fifteen. You tried to do things with me, and I stopped you… We use to lay on your bed just talking. I asked you what happened and you told me everything."

"I'm sorry I forgot. I'm sorry."  He wrapped his arms around me. And I hissed lightly forgetting about the bruises until then.

"What is it? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you," he said letting go.

"Drake pushed me down some stairs…" I said and heat flared in his eyes. I stroked his arms.

"Do you remember what I asked and what you said before I left?" He asked and I nodded.

"You said to wait for you and I said I always would and no one would ever have me but you," I blushed," and you said it back."

"I kept that promised I dated but I'm still yours Heather God how I've missed you," he stroked my cheek and leaned into it. I couldn't have forgotten him. He has always been there. I never gave myself to anyone else either because I knew I said something to someone. I just couldn't figure it out.

I giggled, "You remember how you use to say that you would buy us a house, and we could live together and you would protect me from everything."

"I do and here we are. My big house, and I'm here to protect you if you let," he smiled and I blushed. We went over to the couch.

"I want to retell you what happened with my father so I can see if I told you it right the first time." He pulled me to his chest and we relaxed on his couch.  

I started, "My grandmother, my dad's mother lives in Europe and when I was thirteen we went to visit her. My father and I were walking on the street, when a man who was robbing a little shop held my father and I hostages. My dad tried to be the hero and the man shot him. I went psycho… I ripped the gun from the guy's hand. Then I took him by the throat dug my nails in and ripped until all I saw was red. Then after that I don't remember." I said and he nodded.

He nibbled on my ear and I stood. He looked confused as to why though. I blushed and he smiled lightly, "Maybe I should go."

"No," he said and I sat on the floor and he laid next to me and I laid down also, "Stay the night."

"What if something happens?" I asked and he turned to me. Gosh how I wanted something to happen I've been waiting long time for this to happen.

"Stuff happens," He leaned in as if to kiss me and I leaned in and he backed out. Later on we went to bed together. I stole his shirt not wanting my own clothes. Waking the the next morning I recovered him and walked to the kitchen. His shirt was like a dress on me. I moved into the kitchen and dug for glasses, and took my meds. I felt arms slip around my waist and a kiss to my temple.

"Good morning Beautiful woman." He whispered in my ear and I giggled.

"Dirk its 12 in the afternoon," I said and he made a sound of uninterest and ran his hands up my side making me shiver.

"I have boxes to unpack at home." I said quietly and he nibbles on my ear.

"Move them into here. Don't ever leave me again." I nodded hoping he would say something like that. I heard a knock at the door, but he didn't hear it. He continued to whisper in my ear and knocking again.

"Dirk go answer the door." I said and hid in the kitchen. He was at least in pants. He answered the door, and I heard a female's voice. I didn't listen to the conversation but I heard him getting aggravated. It was Ashley I could tell. Dirk came back in shaking his head. He sat at the table and rubbed his face. He looked tired. I went up behind him and rubbed his shoulders and he sighed. I continued to rub his shoulders, and he continued to relax.

I buried my face in his neck and his hand came to my hair and he turned his head so our lips met. It was sweet and loving. He was gentle and when our tongues touched it was immediate electricity through my body. A light shiver ran down my back, and he slowly pulled away. He touched his lips to mine again. I sighed contently, this is the most calm I have ever felt sense my father pasted. I pulled away when he stood up. He was so tall and he smiled a crooked smile at me.

"Let me take you out tonight. We can go get some of your things from your house. I want to bring you somewhere to be with you. Gosh you just turned eighteen… You're so young." He laughed, "I'm about to turn twenty one. So I want to bring out show what it's like to be treated like a woman."

I couldn't help but giggle, "Then go get dressed so I can go grab some boxes from my apartment, and we can get dressed up and go out." I said. I leaned up on my very tippy toes and kissed his cheek.

It didn't take us long to shower, and to get on the road in his Eclipse Snyder. We made it to my apartment, and I saw the obvious grimace on his face. I looked at him like he was a two year old, and he took my hand as we walked in grabbed my essentials. Which my essentials consisted of a brush, tooth brush, underwear, shampoos and conditioners, blow dryer, flat iron, clothes, night gowns, shoes, and my dress. He wanted me to get all dressed up but when I grabbed for my makeup he took out the eye liner, mascara, and lip gloss. I thought I was going to cry when he took the bag zipped it up and threw my make up in the trash. He just smiles and told me that I didn't need all of that shit. I grabbed a few more things and we loaded the stuff in a bag and left. By the time we made it back to his house and got all of my stuff in the house and I insisted on it going in his extra room, it was around 5 in the evening.

I went to take another shower to wash my hair. I was in the shower when I felt his arms wrap around me and roam over my body. I shivered and tilted my head to the side and he kisses my ear and nibbled my neck. Soon we were kissing passionately and he had my pinned to the shower wall. He picked me up and for the second time he made me feel loved, full, and such like a woman that he didn't understand. I washed and stepped out after him. He left out and told me to get ready flashing me his charming smile. I dried my hair and decided to leave it its natural curly. I put on my eye liner, and mascara. I looked in the mirror, my skin was still flushed but pale. I walked to the extra room and pulled my dress from its hanging bag. The black silk was still shiny, and it had an open back with a low v-neck front. I slipped it on and put on the black heels that I didn't think I would ever wear. I looked in the mirror and was shocked. I looked alive. Dirk made me feel alive. He made me feel loved again. I fixed my hair so that it fell around my shoulders.

"Heather are you done?" He called to me.

"Just a minute," I called back. I did another twirl to look at myself. I took a deep breath and walked out and into the kitchen where I knew he was waiting.

When I walked in his eyes lit up and I saw clearly his breath hitch. I smiled at him and he looked so shocked. He was dressed in black slacks and a nice grey button up shirt. My heart dropped when his eye didn't run over my body they stayed on my face. They never left my eyes. They never Looked lust filled, just love filled. I walked up to him. He took my hands and made me twirl for him.

"You are stunning Heather. You are so beautiful it scares me. I'll never let you go. I can't." He said and the blush came to my face.

We held hands as he led me into the nice restaurant. We were greeted by a pretty girl who led us to our seats. I smiled and thanked her. We sat down and he held my hand across the table as we talked. He made me giggle. I saw a familiar blonde head sitting in view. I peered at her. It was Ashley. I looked at who was sitting next to her and froze. I squeezed Dirk's hand.

"Dirk, Ashley is here with Drake." I said seriously concerned for the girl.

"She won't go for him. He isn't her type, he's too much of an idiot." He said and I laughed. I smiled at him.

After the charm and the romance he showered me with me. I knew that I needed to try and move in with him. He wanted me with him and he made that clear. He made that clear when he took off my dress, and kissed my lips. He proved it when he didn't make love to me that night we just held each other naked as we slept. I think I could stop taking my medicines now, because I found my new prescription drug.